Regardless of where it comes from, shy children need special tricks with which they learn a little more every day to trust in themselves and not to be anxious about everything and everyone from the outset.
It is important to find the right balance that encourages the child, but at the same time does not put them under pressure. Because pressure causes shy children in particular to locked themselves off from their environment even more than they would have done anyway. Because having to do something they don’t challenge to do is even worse when mom or dad, behind whom the child would prefer to hide at this moment, demand it. And who knows what bad things will happen to them tomorrow? Here we reveal to you how you as parents can still ensure that your shy child happily discovers the world around you.
Table of Contents
1. Allow positive experiences to be gained
Children who are shy usually have little self-confidence in themselves. Therefore, their self-confidence should be strengthened. The daily routine offers many incentives for this. Your child should be able to make their own decisions – for example, what they should have for lunch, what they would like to play, what they would like to wear, what should be read in the evening, what they would like to spend the afternoon with. Decisions help to convey to your child that they can think for themselves and thus act.
And they show that your own opinion is important. Positive little experiences that simply increase self-confidence. In addition, you can and should entrust your child with small household responsibilities that do not overcome them but promote their abilities. That could be setting the table or decorating it, watering the flowers, getting the mail out of the mailbox, or answering the phone. Because the latter exercise in particular allows the little ones to come into contact with strangers and, above all, with the unforeseen from a safe distance. And by the way, the transferred responsibility shows that mom and dad already have a lot of self-confidence in their little offspring.
2. Give freedom and time
After all, self-confidence wasn’t built in a day either. Therefore: Give your shy child time. Often it only has to find itself in a situation, observe the people in it and weigh up the pros and cons. The longer your child is allowed to observe an unfamiliar situation, the better they will find their way around it later. Especially when relationships are explained to him in a child-friendly manner.
3. Just swap roles
It is well known that shy children are often enough in each other’s way. Simply swapping roles with mom when shopping, in the cafe or at home can work wonders. Because suddenly the mom is very small, dares little and needs to be supported in everything.
And who does it? Exactly: Mr. or Mrs. Shy. With the help of these reversed roles, shy children can grow – and far beyond themselves. And soon your child will then perhaps order for themselves in the cafe. In the case of extremely shy children, it is advisable to practice this role reversal beforehand. For example, when playing in the shop, in the children’s kitchen or in the children’s workshop. The more self-confident your child becomes here, the easier it will be to switch roles in real situations at some point and, above all, be able to implement it.
4. Role playing games
It is well known that children love role-playing games. For children who are shy, they offer the unbeatable advantage that they can present themselves in a way they actually are not, but perhaps would like to be. There are so many games for children to play as role playing. Affirmation Cards for kids available for children to play with fun. With the help of these cards children learn about different animals, their habits and try to play the role of those animals.
5. Avoid demotivating formulations
If the child is shy, what they need most is positive reinforcement and parents who believe in them. Therefore, formulations such as: “You can do it!”, “Just try it”, “You can do it on your own!”, “Just try it out!” Or “Take the time you need!” Are much more meaningful than formulations, which take the child’s courage from the start. In addition to: “You can’t do it!” Or “You can’t do that yet!”, Above all statements such as “You are still too small for that!” Even if the latter is very popular, for everything that cannot be explained to children.
Nevertheless: The self-confidence of shy children shakes them all the more. You should also avoid repeatedly explaining in front of your child that they are just shy. Because the child only learns one thing through constant confirmation, namely: That it is the way it is – shy – and feels accordingly empowered. It is best not to explain your child’s behavior in their presence. However, if you can’t help but watch out for the use of the word “still”. It is STILL shy, it STILL doesn’t dare, it is STILL a little cautious. Because this is how your child learns that it is apparently quite natural to STILL be a little shy, but that this state can also change – and above all will change.
6. Love is the best support
More important than anything, however, is showing your child that you love them unconditionally. Above all, this includes your loving and patient support in everything your child does and, above all, in what they want to try out. Because with the unconditional love of mom and dad, everything is much easier and easier.
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